Can We Just Take A Walk Together

My little one Braxton, my dog of course, was the sweetest, most non confrontational rolling partner I knew. I could discuss anything and go everywhere with him. I could tell him about my day, cry overflowing tears in front of him, and even yell to the top of my lungs while he sat in front of me with a puzzled face. As a loyalist, Braxton would snuggle up to me and look at me with those big eyes that would make me laugh until I was sick. Although his actions spoke those of care and love, he could never verbally communicate back to me or make all the pain go away. He was a dog and unable to communicate back to me what I needed! To be honest, I think I would share my deepest secrets with him because of this very fact; he could not talk back and I could control the communication! I believe Braxton and my behavior was one similar to how we as humans us tactics and methods for avoiding human interaction or controlling another persons response to our feelings. We use these tactics or methods to state a claim rather than communicate a feeling with another person.We have become cowardly to what is really needed to communicate love, healing, or joy with our family, love ones, or friends. It is the simplicity that I think is needed and must be done which requires us to throw our electronic friends in the water and ask “Can We Just Take A Walk Together”.



Through my own process of love and forgiveness, I have learned the one single thing that causes us to totally miss out on the opportunities with other is the inability to simply free ourselves of our struggles or thoughts with one another in a space that allows us to completely communicate in REAL TIME. As I watched a family in the park the other day, I experienced their sacred time spent talking in the park about life, family, and love. As I watch them communicate from a far on a nice park bench, I watched them enter into a long discussion that brought excitement, sadness, and love.I was so inspired that I begin to think to myself, “Can we as people begin to love again through a simple boldness to request that we put down the one-way technology enablers for a minute to pick up the voices or our love so that we can express what’s our minds and hearts?”


I believe the real question starts with us, to ask ourselves, “ Do I think I have either the willingness or courage to stop running from a REAL CHANCE to freely open a lane for a honest two-way conversation with someone I love?” Can I be the type of sistah that is BOLD enough to no longer ask for walk in the park to discuss my feelings but REQUIRE it! Yes, sistah I am talking to me and you. Are we available and open ourselves to stop, drop, and LISTEN to a man, friend, or girlfriend voice his or her feelings instead of emailing, texting, skyping, or facebooking our thoughts. I don’t know about you, but I am ready and willing to make the effort to bring back the REALNESS of conversations and the common language of love and friendship that once existed from looking into someone’s eyes to understand their true thoughts. I will no longer allow the pure essence of walking and talking be dominated by a TEXT MESSAGE! So the next time you get a text or other important message via technology simply reply with “Can we just take a Walk” and I promise your opportunity to really connect will never be the same.


Let’s start a new campaign “SISTAHS FOR REAL COMMUNICATION, so please leave your BBM PIN or CELL PHONE at HOME”…….LOL

It's Your Time Sistah Girl: The Legacy Must Live On....

One of the things that I love most about family reunions, other than the good food, food, and more food, is speaking with the elders of the family and having them share their wisdom and love for coming together each year to see their family. As I sing to the tune of “It’s a family reunion”, I am simply overjoyed with having had the opportunity to see all my lovely family and take part in another reunion. I was truly humbled as I greeted the youngest family member of two weeks to the oldest of eighty nine; and get this I have an aunt who wasn’t there but she is one hundred and ten. Our family is truly an amazing example of God’s favor. I was in awe and complete amazement as I watched young women and men honoring marriage and sharing in the raising of children, cousins respecting each other, and young people honoring those who have come before them with kindness and respect. The sight of seeing young people fix a plate of food, speak with respect, and even take a moment to hear the great advice of the many years of life experiences from the elders was indescribable. I was so moved! In fact, I was so inspired that I had to take a moment and share this; for this is a great example of how the black family still lives and thrives in contrast to what we have seen or been told.

During our family church service my grandmother REQUESTED, more REQUIRED that I stand and speak on behalf of the family! I immediately shook my head no and she gave me a look that said in so many words, “Please don’t have me ask you again”! Before I knew it, one of my cousins had nudged me in my back and my sister had given me a look that co-signed to my grandmother’s request. As I looked for words to impart to my family and the entire congregation, I was reminded of one of my favorite stories in the bible of a young woman who was chosen to be Queen. Esther, the unlikely candidate, had been given a position because of her favor with God. As her people were experiencing turmoil, she was reminded by her uncle that perhaps she was made Queen for this very moment, this very time, and this very opportunity to save her people. As I stood up, I began to understand that the very moments we stand in are in fact chosen by God to do something amazing; for we have been chosen for that very reason and we must be obedient. We have to understand that our circumstances and life experiences only position us for a time such as these to carry out a pre-arranged assignment. The black family is at a corner of transitioning a new generation into leading the next era of our world and we must know that the time has come and the great legacy must continue. We have a torch to carry and a legacy to uphold; therefore we have an assignment to challenge our youth to take their place and BE BOLD.

As one sistah to another let me be the first to acknowledge the Esther inside of YOU! You have been chosen for a time such as this to lead a nation of sisters, daughters, mothers, aunts, wives, mentors, and so much more. The legacy of our womanhood MUST NOT compete with man, but embrace the beauty that completes one another to fulfill the assignments that God has given each of us. My hope is that you do not confuse this with another “preach to the choir” message, but an encouragement that seeks to remind you to be in constant search of the mighty woman that lives inside of you which has been placed deep within your soul for the very time in which we stand.

As we embrace the call of what the world has proclaimed as “the new 21st century woman”, we must never forget the importance of our role in which God has position us to play in the lives of our family, society, church, and other places that may touch the world. I challenge you to use your strength and position to confront the struggles of our children and their education, the unbalance of our families, and the disparities in our knowledge of personal worth versus societal like. I am not saying you must trade in your Gucci Pumps for Esther or Mary’s clothe, but I do believe we can take a few lessons from some of our brave sisters in the bible and history who have taught us to never give up and always embrace the time when called upon. As Esther sought God when she was faced with a difficult task and a serious assignment, we must also be ready and willing to take heed to the TIME and seek God for direction! You are FLY, but being fly is having the God Confidence rather than that self-confidence to know that you cannot do this thin ALONE!

Little Sistah this is your time, you are the legacy that the world has patiently awaited your arival. You are the vessel that will remind man that in order for him to go to God on your behalf, he must be willing to seek Him with you in unison kneeling down in one accord. As a unit we must realize that we are deserving of each other, therefore we must not be afraid to speak up or lift up once another in order to save a generation of young men and women who have hidden treasures inside of them! We must shift our thinking in order to grab what has been taken and be willing to work on the very things that have clouded our minds that we now and have always had control over. Our grandmothers and mothers have left a legacy within us that that walks by faith and not by sight. You must not be afraid to walk in what you believe in nor speak on what you so passionately care and based your faith on. It is with this that I say, “Sistah Girl, allow God to use you for it is YOUR TIME. Understand that you are an heir to great things, and just like Esther, perhaps your success and struggles were given to you for such a time as this!

So know.…It’s Your Time: And So The Legacy Must Live On….

The Spirit of A Black Man

During a night stroll in Brooklyn on the notorious Fulton Street, a good friend and I begin to discuss the love we both shared for black men. We begin talking about their beauty and our sense of spiritual connection even as strangers when we see them in passing on the block, the subways, or even as we are entering a building and bump shoulders for a quick second. My friend and I were both filled with goose bumps; it was electrifying as we shared why no other man would do. We both recognized that through all the headaches, heavy burdens, and unpredictable moments we may have shared with black men, they were our rock and we are theirs. They inspire us to conquer the inequality of the world and provide us with the reassurance that our beauty is not only valid but necessary in creating the next generation that is strong, intellectual, compassionate, beautiful, and God-serving people. Truth be told, I have pondered and thought about this topic many of nights based on my current readings of The Conversation by Hill Harper. Hill’s exploration of how we begin to communicate between each and explore relationships between black women and men, in addition to my friend’s personal thoughts of what makes a black man so beautiful and lovable, has caused me to explore the SPIRIT OF A BLACK MAN.

So you may ask, what makes us love them more than anyone else. At times when our fathers may disappoint us, boyfriends upset us, that friend who brings us to tears or even that husband who says something that takes our eyes from one side of our head to the next? What keeps us by their side or vice versa when society has made us believe that we are better off without each other or with someone else. I will tell you, it’s the SPIRIT OF A BLACK MAN! We are connected to them at so many levels that their thoughts are able to connect to ours and together we can begin a journey before we ever shake hands or introduce ourselves. It’s as if the spirit of a black man reaches out to the soul of a black woman and safely pulls it closer to his. When we loose them we cry, when they walk away our hearts ache, and when they reach out to us we hold and shelter them from any storm that may come their way. Through his struggle of societal abuse and high demand of accountability, support and lack thereof, he is still our friend, partner, companion, husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, cuzzo, and son who needs to hear that we NEED AND LOVE him. A black man’s spirit is in jeopardy ever time we speak negative to him, stereotype him, tolerate his cowardly behavior, or allow him to be less than his best self. A very beautiful cousin of mine provided me with a parable of a man and woman that I thought was very eye opening and important to understand. It directly connects the responsibility that we have to one another. She said to me, “Tiny Sister, you must understand as a man's eyes are looking forward and his back is to God with the responsible of leading, a woman’s ear is directly connected to God so she can hear Him and be the voice that speaks to the man. God will use that man to lead and move His people forward, but He will also use your ear to speak to him as he moves. You must keep your ear to God, because you will help him lead as he will look to you when he cannot hear God, but you can. So never forget God's positioning of a man and his responsibilty to always keep his eyes forward. He will need your ears and your voice to help him Lead." I believe the spirit of a black man knows this and so he relies on our connection as the brain relies on the heart to live. Together we are the instrument that makes a great noise and the hope that our community relies on to bring restoration. The spirit of a black man, I believe, carriers the anchor of God’s plan to love, protect, lead, and build great nations; his ability to do such relies on how well we as sistahs are spiritually connected to God to receive this and nurture that spirit to bring about great promises in our world.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)

So let me say something directly to the Black Man, ‘You are so beautiful and wonderfully made. Your love, strength, sense to lead and protection makes me desire no one but you. Your dedication and service to God, family and your community makes me want to stand beside and support you regardless of what I have accomplished or attained through my own success. As you love what I bring to the table and applaud my achievement, you too are not intimated about who I am and whose I am. I am so proud of your accomplishments and thank God for your love, smile, easiness, and most of all your spirit to be just who you are. I will do the very best that I can to assist you in hearing God’s plan, but you must be willing to walk forward side-by-side, hand-in-hand so that we together can save our community and serve humanity. So trust me when I say, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE BETTER SUITED FOR ME THAN YOU!

Blessings and Love Always,

Lady Sistah Allen

Her Heart: If You Ever Want to Know A Woman's True Thoughts?

As Anthony Hamilton once said “I Just Can’t Lose Her”. "What price are you willing to pay not to lose her?" or “What are you willing to do to find her?” Or even better, “Who will you seek to have her?” If you believe she is as special as you say she is than go after her and don’t stop until God gives you permission to either move on or unite the whole you with the whole her. In the meantime, show her that the words RESPECT, LAUGHTER, LOVE, and most of ALL FRIENDSHIP are not dead. If your heart won’t let you lose her, than ready yourself for the risk. Sometimes we must take a risk before we are ready or prepared for the job. If you love her and believe that she earnestly loves you than pray and seek God for her hand, because although she is not waiting for you she is awaiting you. Her anxiety is just as high as yours, but the difference is she believes that you will come for her, because God said so, and with that SHE WAITS, IN FACT she IS STILL. The bible says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”—Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 34: 10 also says “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” You will never find a person better made for you as she, for her heart is rare, more precious than anything you will ever hold. So if you agree and too believe she is truly precious, than why do you continue to question God of her place in your life?



Will you ever understand that the essence of her love is shown through her obedience to God and not you? Have you ever wonder why you cannot say goodbye? Or why both of you have so happen to find yourselves in the same space, same generation, sharing the same fight or even uniting the same people for the same mission! I don’t want to scare you, but the real news is this: You don’t stay or continue to love her because you made the decision! No my brother, you aren’t that perfect, but rather God decided that her heart fits perfectly inside of yours, and so she will always understand you more than anyone else; which is the beauty of her heart that was created especially for you and the humanity that makes the ever being of you; That type of perfection is something that the world can never find and contains only a DNA perfectly made for both you and her.


I plead with you to not take her for granted, because if you do, and when the smoke clears and the dust settles, she might slip away because of your disobedience to God. He may decide to remove her because He felt that her heart was too precious to be abandoned by you and give her to someone else. Don’t allow your fatigue or pain to do something you will regret; Like Not Having Her There! My grandmother once told me to never deny yourself of the white picket fence if that’s what you desire and believe that God has for you. So I tell you, don’t feel less than TO BUILD THAT WHITE PICKET FENCE FOR HER, for what her heart can give is the very garden of love that she seeks and nothing else. Let me be clear, the white picket fence is not her external desire, but rather her internal need of love, happiness, safety, and true partnership. Can you remember a time were her smile felt completing without her ever speaking a word? It’s because the plan that has been crafted for her life has been prepared by God, which has nothing to do with her, and so she cannot control the impact that she has on you. You will realize one day that her friendship was just the gift that opened up God's favor to receive her love, for it is HER HEART's LOVE that will allow you to love her more than you love yourself! Don’t ever FORGET HER HEART, its precious, and if you really desire it, than DO THE RIGHT THING, for it will do the right thing for you!

How Will You Remember Her Fight: Don’t Just Carry the Torch

Just a couple of days ago, we learned of the passing of one the most iconic, greatest leaders of our time: the late Dorothy Height. She was truly was the epitome of what GREATNESS looks , walks, and talk like in ever essence of her being. She believed that a person’s true value was through their service and to be called a leader you must be willing to serve others as one. My kind of Lady! As we celebrate her life, and we hear all the talk about who will carry the torch, I believe that true question is who will be willing to model her SERVICE ATTITUDE and not only carry the torch, but re-light the passion in a movement to be more than LEADERS but true actors of service.

Although I have never had the esteem opportunity in meeting Ms. Height, I believe that she would tell us “Sweethearts, don’t cry for me because I have completed the kingdom business that I was called to fulfill. I am truly satisfied and completed at peace because I came to this earth with a God given mission and I took ever moment, every breath to ensure that it was started, completed, and made available for someone like you to ensure it never dies”. So, if you want to remember me, THAN SERVE!” For the true question is what will you do with your opportunity to serve and how will you live out the God given mission that has been set upon you and the crisis that your generation faces today?”


Well Ms. Height, I don’t know if I could ever carry the exact torch that you did, but what I can promise is that I will use my life to SERVE and become a vessel that exemplifies the qualities and examples that you created. I want to continue in the fight that you pursued for women of all kind, justice for all races, and service that purifies the crisis within our communities, nations, and the world. Just carrying the torch is not enough, I know Ms. Height, you need us to step up and be bold enough to ignite our own torch of freedom and justice to enlighten the world that that our young women are gifted, beautiful, equally made, wonderfully created, divinely destined, and capable of creating a difference in the world that uniquely makes us true healers and innovators of our time. You see through the example of Ms. Height's life I have learned this,

“Our lives are shaped to serve and live for God and His Purpose, so there is no pressure to worry about what people expect or require from us. If we can remember anything, as the ever so lovely Ms. Height understood, it is this: finding greatness will find you, as long as you stay true to yourself and you do not become too busy applauding your own cause, but rather looking to constantly create one!

Your Life is A True Dedication of Service and A Model of True Greatness! Thank you for the Template Ms.Height, We Love and Celebrate Your Life!!!

No I am not CRAZY; Just PROMISED

First let me say thank you to all the people who individually called or emailed me to thank me for my words of REALINESS and checked on me to ensure I didn’t need a shrink. I enjoyed speaking to all of you individually and I am still laughing from many of our conversations. All of your kind words and encouragement have reassured me that my blogs are relevant and tremendously needed in this day and time. I am also EXTREMELY grateful for the support of my family and friends who called to ensure that the NYC had not driven me mentally insane. Rests assure I have not lossed it, but rather gained a new strength and testimony. I share my many struggles and life experiences to be a living testimony to show the world that no matter how together you may think you are; OR no matter how grounded you may feel: Or for my Christians out there (no matter how saved you are or appear to be to others **WINK WINK), life is REAL and we all fall short and sometimes experience a downright unbearable, stressful, not so put together moment. I don’t care how many times you experience something, or think you have built up the courage or strength to overcome it, there are still moments where you may fall short or miss the mark. I use myself as an example to inspire others to embrace the humanity within and no matter how crazy you feel, remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! As I reveal the sheerness of my life, I am reassured that the fighting failures of my journey will be the strength for others to learn how to fight with their eyes wide open and their hearts in total submission to God.

In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be put to confusion. Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape; incline thine ear unto me, and save me. Be thou my strong habitation, where unto I may continually resort. Thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. For thou art my hope, O LORD GOD; thou art my trust from my youth. By thee have I been held up from the womb; thou art he who took me out of my mother; my praise shall be continually of thee. -Psalms 71; 1-6

When I get ready to share an experience with you on my blog, I turn to God, and ask him, “Lord use my life as a vessel, let me not be concerned about what others may think, but who you will touch, set free, and regain through the losses that they felt hinder them to walk into the destiny that you have already planned .” It ain’t easy in these streets, but you gotta know who YOUR ROCK is and sometimes what the WORLD may deem crazy may be the very moment that God must use to fulfill a PROMISE in your life or another sister who’s given up on the legacy of Success. When you realize that there is a PROMISE over your life, you will begin to understand that God does not need your artificial words or made-up story, but an open you that is not afraid to TURN, RUN AND FALL into the His lap Truth! He already knows you are not CRAZY, JUST PROMISED, so there is no need to pacify an unrealistic you or respond to the human critique! Experiencing a crazy moment allows you to create a heavy duty first aid kit for the world, so that you can handle the deep and REAL moments that lie out there! So go ahead Sistah Girl, let’em know,
“No I am Not Crazy, Just PROMISED”!

Lift Your VOICE? Your Turn to SHARE

So if you followed me last week, you may have noticed that I did a lot of writing and a lot of searching. I wrote about my experiences, good or bad, to expose my journey and encourage other young woman to do the same. Often, I do a lot of the sharing and not much asking, and so, I would like to turn the tables and invite my followers to do the writing!!!

I know, we are all very busy, and I am the only crazy one, but I believe we all have a story or inspiring word for another sister, and so, I want you to do that!

I want all my followers to use one of my journeys from last week to share your thoughts, feelings, story, inspiration, or something! Think about your OWN bootcamp! As a young woman, what has been helpful in your life of relationships, spiritual growth, etc. SHARE YOUR STORY!!! We said from the beginning we had a greatness to achieve and I believe we cannot reach that greatness until we learn how to connect with each other and share our lives and own lessons learned! I am leaving it in YOUR HANDS! You never know, we could start a movement of strong links, sharing, inspiring, and believing that A YOUNG WOMAN'S BOOTCAMP starts today, right now, with US!

A Young Tulips Growth: THE LAST DAY OF BOOTCAMP!!!!!

No car alarms, loud music, or fire trucks to wake me up or disturb my peaceful serenity. Four Words: I LOVE THE SOUTH! If you have never visited the south than you may not understand my love, but if you have, and now live in the north, you understand when I say “Escaping to the South is a Must”. Luckily to say, I now understand why New Yorkers have homes in the south. As I prepare for my morning prayer, I noticed a small little tulip bud outside my window. Could it be the first sign of spring! Excited and curious, I begin to think about the little tulip. How did it survive all the rain and harsh winter that had occurred? How proud would the owner of the property be once it saw this beautiful blossom? Thinking about my own growth and moment of challenge, I saw through this little tulip my own harvest of endurance. I realized that God was reminding me that I must PLANT WHAT I LOOK TO HARVEST! More importantly, I must never forget to water and care for what I plant.
For many young women, the seed has already been planted! We often forget how to act upon and apply what God has given us, even in the hardest, most challenging moments. Like the little tulip, we must also weather the coldest winters and windy falls, but know that Spring will soon come and we will be expected to blossom. Now this is not to say you must hide during your moments of challenge, but rather get pumped as you are about to experience A GREAT WOMAN IN THE MAKING! During my travels, I have experience amazing opportunities to speak to young girls. They often ask me, “Ms. Nicole how did you weathered the storm and stay true to yourself in places like Corporate America and other places where you were pressure to be someone else or something else”. The shocking and honest answer that I give young woman is that it was hard at first and I didn’t start off with “YES, I KNOW MYSELF DAY ONE” attitude. I had to learn the balance of who I was and what everyone wanted. I had to discover that what the world actually needed was Nicole Allen, just as she was, and not some average girl who tried to be the prototype of perfection and everyone else’s dream. It was hard especially, working in a highly prestigious, uptight and conservative, overly aggressive corporate culture, where you felt as is if you were fighting for civil rights in the twenty first century with a bunch of white boys who felt you should be spending your time getting their coffee rather than actually collaborating with them on multimillion dollar strategies. But like the little tulip, I learned the seed of humility and faith from the women who stood beside me and helped me learn how to fight strategically and pray relentlessly.


And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.—Matthew 21:21. After I figured out who I was and whose I was, I was able to fight with my faith and accomplish things that many wonder who positioned me, and others who couldn’t believe that I was doing what they had only imagined.


During much time and meditation, I am left with this, God believes in me to have faith in his promise and believe in his plan. His plan is not my plan and therefore He does not need my permission or two-way conference call to get His plan done. Before I left for my trip down south, my grandmother said to me, “You are a Shining Star, I can’t tell you how to shine, but you know the way! Sometimes your light may dim, but I believe that God has placed you and I here at this very moment to push you forward and remind you of the greatness that he is calling you for. Don’t forget your light, you are destine for it and I am going to support you through it!”


With her words, I now say to you my young sistah, never forget your light or to water and nurture the seeds of greatness that God has planted deep inside you. You can never expect to harvest what you don’t take time to cultivate. I feel the move of God’s spirit putting me at rest to know that I have been made to endure His boot camp of life, for it is my destiny, as a young man said, to be HERE! As I get ready to pack up on my last day on my island of peace, I am filled with an over exceeding excitement and unspeakable peace knowing that God has used this very day, this very place, and this very moment as a boot camp to prepare me for my harvest of greatness. Your boot camp will come, or it may have already passed, but please understand that when God orders a rejuvenation, He doesn’t need to give you a lot of notice, only your obedience to square up and say,

“God use me, I will go, if you must revive my spirit, then prepare my shoes, so I can endure this boot camp and return a seed of GREATNESS to fulfill the DESTINY you have planned for my LIFE

WOW, it’s DAY 5: Hope you all enjoyed and experience something from my journey and BOOTCAMP!

You Should Thank Him: Yes, Right Now During Boot Camp!!!!!

So I did tell you that this is a boot camp, right? Sometimes during a boot camp you will experience moments where you may need your Bengay or good old faithful heating pad to get through the rest of the day. During a time of serious, downright tear jerking reflection, I felt I needed to share a MOMENT! Yes, the saying “You cannot correct what you are not ready to confront” is real. As young women we experience pains, especially in our relationships, and we often do not understand the growth or power in them, let alone how we can correct them. Speaking from experience, I have often received a response from God about my relationships I was not expecting. What is so great about God is that he knew exactly what and who I needed in order to grow and while I was off crying, God was busy preparing. What’s even more amazing is that God used that person as only a teaching moment, as they were the smallest piece of the overall picture into what God needed to accomplish. Imagine that! You see, it is often difficult to thank someone when they hurt you, but I am here to tell you young sistah, when you do look back, after the dust has settled, you will have the power to say “THANK GOD”. I needed all of that to make me into the woman I am today. You will not only want to thank God, but also the man or men that have hurt you. It may not be easy at first, but when it does, oh my goodness, you will thank them because you are so much stronger, wiser and better as a result of the pain you both experienced.

So as a young woman growing from her experiences, I thought it was only proper to craft my own thank you note. Now let me put a disclaimer out there, IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND FEEL LIKE OMG is she talking about me, probably so (LOL), but know that this was truly about directing hope to build dreams so I would no longer delay my FUTURE and maybe YOURS too…(SMILE).

I like to call it ….YOU SHOULD THANK HIM!

So, I was thinking about you today and us, and well you remember that guy I had told you about, the one who hurt me oh so bad. Well I was thinking, actually contemplating, that before you thank me and we begin our life of amazing adventures and uncontrollable laughs and smiles you should probably, no you should actually take a second to

Thank him…..

Yes PLEASE thank him. It is because of the broken heart that I was left with I learned how to walk with God and trust that Love is not just a feeling or something you wake up and experience ; It’s a CHOICE. Through the loneliness of a relationship, I came to experience the GREATEST love and the sacrifice of God that allowed me to understand what it means to make a CHOICE. It revealed to me an important lesson; we choose to love and we ACT on it once we choose it. The amazing thing is through the complication of loving him; I learned the simplicity of loving you. It showed me that what we think and say to be complicated is really simple.

So you JUST GOT TO THANK him.

Don’t bother being mad at him. In fact, THANK him that I stopped looking for you and began believing you would find me. No better lesson could I have learned than the one of understanding I could no longer control the outcome of whether love would find me. It was a MUST that I stop trying to predict the future of LOVE. Don’t forget to express your gratitude in the prayer warrior he helped build. In the absence of him, I learned the intimacy of prayer and the importance of coming together to build OUR prayer game. You see if I would have never experience the unavailable him, I may have never knew how awesome two people can be when their voices are lifted to God and their arms are raised to the sky giving thanks for LIFE and the ABILITY to share it with one another.

So go ahead, don’t hold back, THANK him for his contributions.

As tears run down my face, I am happy and feel with an overwhelming sense of amazement that you are here. I too feel the need to thank him along with you. Without him I would have never taken the time to prepare myself for you. I know now that with him I took myself too seriously, which is why I can now laugh when you make that funny face or funny smell. So don’t feel obligated to repair anything that has happened in my life, because through it all I have become a better me and more importantly I have become a whole me. I am now stronger than ever and ready to unite the whole me with the whole you. I now understand that my purpose in your life is NOT to complete you, but to assists you in completing the assignment that God has in your life and for you to do the same in mine.

So trust me when I say your THANKING him should not be crude or filled with cynical words, but with a sense of gratitude. He completed his assignment, and now I am all yours. What is so amazing is when I see your smile, I see the answered prayer that I explained to God when I was imagining what you would look like, what you would think about, what you would live for, and most importantly how you would allow me to enter a space where only God occupies. You might want to give this brother a hug, because his assignment was only to prepare me for you!

In fact, thanking him is the right thing to do; I mean what better thank you, could you give this Brother for giving me to you. In fact, I want to thank him for allowing me to see what it would feel like when I thanked God for creating such an amazing man like YOU!

Strength, Courage, and A Good Pair of Wings: Don't Leave Boot Camp It's Only Day 2

My sisters and I, better known as THE ALLEN SISTERS, are extremely close. Now like any sisters, we grumble, disagree, share humiliating stories, laugh, cry, and all the things you can only do with your siblings. For many years, I have hidden under their protection. They have always been a place of safety for me and I learned how to stay in close sight of their love and safeguard!! They have always held my wings like a little bird teaching me how to fly in this world, preparing me for the ugly vultures (ladies, you know what I am referring to) , and ensuring that I knew how to eat at times they would not be around. As a little bird, being far away from your family can be scary. You have practiced how to fly your entire life and when you are face with doing it on your own you may PANIC. It is as if one day you wake up to find your big sister birdies have left the nest (just for a quick shopping break and light lunch) and there is no one to hold your wings as you have always practice. You have to fly all by yourself. Can you imagine how the little bird must feel going to the end of the nest and looking out into the world 10,000 feet away from the ground? Do you wonder if the little birdy has forgotten the courage that has been taught during the cold nights of soaring the skies? Do you believe that sometimes they may not know their own strength? Or do they just sometimes not realize the power of their own beautiful wings?



Like the birdy, we often look to see who will help us fly. As we think we are being put in place of impossible, God is actually molding and preparing us to SOAR in the possible. He must know you can fly on your own, for “He will give you wings that are MADE to SOAR”. My grandmother recently told me this, “Sweetie, Life can be Hard, it may knock you, but God’s Grace will hold you. You must believe in Him and make Him your wings so when you fly, you will have faith to know that it is He who will helps you Soar!”


This story is for any young sister who is being prepared to soar and is afraid to tip toe to the edge of the nest and fly. Like me, you may have the BEST SISTERS, mother, father, BFFs, in the WORLD, but you yourself must not be afraid to use your own beautiful wings and SOAR into the world. I am challenging you to give it all you have and remember your SOURCE! Source, I have used that word so many times! I am reflecting on SOURCE for a second and understanding the GREATNESS behind it…………….


God knows your HEART and He will prepare the atmosphere so when your time of greatness arrives, you not only FLY into it, but you SOAR right through it!

This is dedicated to my LOVELY sisters who prepared me for the big SKIES. You taught me to LOVE MYSELF, never FORGET MYSELF, and MOST OF ALL know that no matter how FAR WE GO WE will always BE

THE ALLEN SISTERS, strong and beautiful,

It's A Boot Camp so Get READY: Who YOU got with YOU

Remember back in the day when girls use to beef with each other and gather in a big crowd to have a showdown or beat down? The talk had been around school that someone had been talking smack about the other and it was time to face it head on! Well, if you are like me and have never fought a day in your life, you too are probably hoping it is all talk and nobody will really fight! Your girlfriends are looking at you like, “You know you have never been in a fight in your life and it may get ugly”. Just thinking about it gets my blood pumping. Anxious, you look back and just like you, your friends are praying and contemplating whether to walk away or stand there to see how it goes down! Everyone is ready and willing to jump up at any moment, and someone shouts out “So, who you got with you?”

 

Through my own journey in life, I have often been faced with this same question. I have learned Sometimes instead of looking above me, as the pastor says; I have looked behind me which only leads to my own disappointment. We often become frustrated when we look for people to ALWAYS have our backs or heal our pain. We assume that they must contain the capacity to push us forward or simply comfort us at every step through this thing called “life”. Your friends and family will always love you and will always WANT to be there in your toughest moments. Please don’t think your love ones do not want to give you everything they have, but rather you are hoping in them for things that they are often not designed to offer. As I grow, I have found that the humanity of people are often too small and too limited to offer you what the boundless and illimitable power of God will never fail to give you!

Lamentations 3:24: says, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him”! One of the most powerful thoughts to remember that I must often remind myself of is this, “If you put your hope in anyone other than God, your sadness will overbear your JOY and subtract from the JOURNEY that God has placed you on!” A moment of meditation……… and Reflection………………

As I reconnect with my southern roots, sitting outside in a quiet garden with just me and the sweet aroma of God’s tranquility and never ending love, I am at peace to tell one of my young sisters this, “Believe in your heart that one day you will find a peace that is greater than any crew, family member, or support system could ever give”. Be patient with yourself little sister and know that growth is TOUGH. No one can do it for YOU, so don’t be afraid to cry out when you feel alone or experiencing the toughest boot camp of your life. If you don’t know where to find peace, it’s okay to reach out to someone and asks them, but often God will lead you to it if you just ask. Be reassured that when you look back and feel as if no one is there, God is, but to see Him you must look ABOVE. You can find your way back when you ONLY ALLOW Him to lead you THERE!” So the next time when someone asks you “who you with”, let them know I got Jesus and His crew so the better question is “Who YOU With!” Or in the words of my BFF, “WHO GOING TO CHECK ME BOO”! LOL…….. See you tomorrow for DAY 2!

The Gift of Desperation

First, let me say go Obama care! History has been made and it’s because someone stepped into their destiny and BELIEVED IN HOPE! You go Boy, I mean Mr. President!

During the last several days, I took a personal vacation to revive my spirit and refocus on the purpose and very plan that God has ordered in my life. I wish I could say that I went on a tropical vacation that was on my schedule since last spring. You know the trips you save almost half on because you purchased so far in advance. A trip you decide on because you want to use up your vacation days at work or need a place to go just because it’s that time of the year. Like many of us, I was well over due for a vacation, but unwilling to take one, and well, someone ABOVE us decided that if I was not going to willingly take one I would be placed in a position where I would cry out for one. You know the feeling where you can’t explain, it makes no sense, and everyone is left puzzled of your abrupt departure. What I and everyone else fail to realize is that the trip that I thought was so unplanned is actually the very vacation that God booked well in advance. You see my desperate moment of escape was only the strategic planning of God in bringing me to a place where I could be at total and complete submission to Him and no one else. God said, “Return unto me and I will return on to you”. You see the gift of a desperate moment is the set up for when you began to realize that you have taken a detour and you must now find your way back to the main road; YOUR SOURCE.


I learned so many things during my alone time and I want to share them with you. I wrote every day of my journey; mostly how I was awaken by the aroma of only God and the intimacy of His voice and His Silence. I am going to share my FIVE JOURNALS with you each day. I like to call them A Young Woman’s Boot Camp, inspired by a young man’s faith and unimaginable strength to seek God even at a time where he is facing the hardest boot camp of his life; a place where neither you nor I would never ever want to go. As my candid journals may be dismaying to some, I think as true leaders of greatness we must be transparent and allow the world to see our normality. I hope my willingness to be free and open about my growth and experiences will save some young girl close to giving up on her dreams and settling for less than her best life. I hope I can encourage another young woman who is experiencing a desperate moment right now to fight strategically and stand up boldly. My faith is renewed in the fact that I will not DEPEND ON ANYONE but my SOURCE! I am strengthen to know that LIFE will be LIFE, but my muscle of FAITH will continue to grow everyday because God is using my mustard seed of Faith to take me further into my HOPE! So you see Sistah, I am in a place of awesome peace right now that surpasses all understanding and it is because I found the GIFT of a DESPERATE MOMENT! I hope you ENJOY and FIND SOME WAY TO reposition and rethink your own steps when you too experience a seemingly hopeless moment. Meet me tomorrow for DAY 1!

Blessings Sistah Lady Allen

A Letter to a Young Sister

Dear Little Sister,

Let me first say I am so proud of you! You have weathered the storm, done the unthinkable, and have begun to live your dream. You have done what others have only dreamed of and more. I marvel at your strength and applaud your boldness. I remember many years ago you told me “Sister, I am dreaming of greatness and I must go after it. I know at times it may not be what I have envisioned it to be, but I am going to WORK HARD for it. I see a world out there filled with so many opportunities, and, well, I must answer the call.” After those words, I knew you were destine for it. Every day I pray for you. I pray that God will give you the strength to be bold in answering the call and the humility to allow Him to guide you. I know it may get tough at times. Every great idea or move you make may not always work out the way you would have hoped. You may, at times, be wounded in the fire, but trust me it will not destroy your dream or purpose. Oh yes, there will be times where you will feel alone, but know that in those moments you are being situated to take some quiet time with the One who is requesting your attention and needing your Ear.

I have never been more proud of you and I pray you will keep doing the unthinkable. You are no carbon copy, but a true trailblazer who has been put on an assignment to blaze a path for other women to follow. I know now that you have been remarkably made and undeniably destined for greatness far greater than anyone on earth could ever imagine. As someone with a little experience of climbing that ladder in some amazing stilettos, I have learned that you must be willing to extract all the pressure of others and believe that you are a VESSEL designed ONLY for God and what He has for your life; so allow Him to be your GUIDE! Remember little sister BE Smart and BE Fabulous but always remember to listen and trust your GUIDE!

You have so many amazing Sisters who believe in you and are cheering for you every step of the way. If you stumble, WE ARE HERE! If you forget, WE ARE HERE! If you lose sight and get scared, WE ARE ALL HERE! We got your back little sister! So keep serving and never wavering in what you have been CALLED to DO! I call it Destiny, but you call it JUST AN ORDINARY RESPONSIBILITY!

Love and Blessings

Lady Sistah Allen

An Honest Answer is The Sign of TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you weren’t sure how? Was there ever a love one that you could never find the time or space to be candid? Better yet, have you ever held back your feelings or a deal-breaking thought and felt that you had again allowed another missed opportunity to pass you by! Yeah, I know what you are thinking? How and who told Sistah Lady Allen all my business? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone and the reality is that we have all thought twice about being honest with someone in an effort to not hurt them or better yet not face our own reality. Proverbs 24:26 tell us “An honest answer is the sign of true friendship”. My best friend always reminds me that “LOVE IS NOT PASSIVE” and neither is friendship. You must have the courage to be candid if you want to be joined with someone.


Thinking of my own flaws, I know that this is something very hard for me at times. I am scared to “rock the boat” with family, friends, and OTHERS (smile..). As I grow, I am learning that there is no pressure to worry about what others may or may not do with the honest truth! Let this be a season that we begin to show our love through honesty and candid conversation that does not deflate someone but helps them build into the GREATNESS they are required to become. Remember sistah girl, you are so beautiful and you must be willing to allow others to see all of you, which is the HONEST YOU!

Be Great With Your OWN Tools

My mom use to say, “Niki if you got something burning on the inside and you don’t share it, well sweetie you have just lost your voice and privilege to breath and take up space. So I am going to share this in hopes that the air I breathe is not charity but something I rightfully own and dutifully give. A preacher today gave me a word that awoke my spirit and gave fire to the hand of my future. As he spoke about spiritual warfare he proclaimed that we cannot conquer what we cannot confront. As he began to close he looked into the crowd and said “Someone needs to hear this because your greatness depends on it; so let me set you up. You can no longer fight with someone else’s equipment, but you must fight with what you have.”

At that moment, I knew he was putting all my business right out in the church. He had spilled my fears and broken the walls that had been separating me from stepping into my greatness all at the same time. He had given me the encouragement I needed to release my fears of not thinking I had the RIGHT tools or trying to model someone else’s. I begin to realize that the fire and call inside of me was REAL and all along I had the right tools; my OWN Tools!

Sometimes you will be faced with the fear of your own greatness. You will challenge and compare your own tools to someone else’s tools or the way in which they do something in an attempt to model your own efforts? But Sistah girl let me release YOU too; don’t be afraid to use what you have! You have the right stuff, the right tools, and the right destiny. Don’t get caught up in someone else’s fate, but be patient and kind to yourself to know you can accomplish anything with YOUR OWN TOOLKIT! God has given you remarkable equipment, use it! It is like no one else's and trust me he did it on purpose.

Your Service is Not in Vain

Many people were up and out today for another MLK celebration. As many were serving their community, others were watching the parade, while, honestly, the other half were taking a day off to rest. I mean honestly; no judgment sistah girl! As someone who normally is on the ground from sun up to sun down serving on MLK day, I took a different route this year. As my service was not the typical MLK service propaganda, it was making an impact and bringing a new meaning to a couple who had struggled so long and sacrificed so much to stay in business. I was preparing them in making baby steps for creating sound business moves to improve their establishment. As they were on the verge of giving up, they reminded me that because of sistahs like myself they have a chance to stay in business and really do well. Not only did we discuss saving their business, but through our conversations they felt the need to give free pastries to their communities to show their gratitude and understanding of true service

No matter where you were and what you were doing if you were serving someone other than yourself, well sistah your service was NOT IN VAIN. As I have often felt unappreciated in my attempt to serve and sometimes worn out from the NY hustle, I found inspiration in their stride. As I am reminded,we must be SMART THINKERS and STRATEGIC BUSINESS WOMEN in all our endeavors. I wonder how often do we use our gifts to make a DIFFERENT impact. Are we out-of-the-box social thinkers defining our own way to serve? Well I am not saying I am checking a list of what service I have completed this year, but I am trying to keep up the promise that you and I made to SERVE! Now don’t let me down, remember we have an assignment.

A Precious Moment

Her touch, her laugh, her cleaning, her Sunday sermons, her cold hands on my warm face are all the precious moments that are the pure essence of my joy rather than my sadness. For almost six years my grandmother, better known as “granny”, has suffered with Alzheimer's disease and like any grandmother she maintains a spirit of care and love in ever touch we share. During Christmas I was sitting by her bed after everyone had fallen asleep. I turned over to see if she had fallen asleep and like many nights she had not. As I lifted my head to see if she was okay she looked clearly at me and said “I am ready to go Home”, looking puzzled I responded “ You are home” and she looked clear in my eyes and with her small voice she responded, “Niki I am ready to go Home”. Holding her hand I tell her to go ahead, its okay, I am okay.


During my ride home, I reflected on her words and the essence of one moment that will forever be ours. My grandmother and I have shared many precious moments together, but this moment was one that will forever be an imprint into my soul, a moment that would shape me forever. Holding on to the lessons that granny taught me, I know her words are ones of preparation for entry into womanhood of boldness, strength, and unconditional love. As she still lives, each day is a precious moment.

So my question to you is how many precious moments do you have or have you taken advantage of to just thank God for? Or better yet how are you using those precious moments to serve others? If you are, than keep doing it sistah because your work is PRECIOUS. If not, well the time is NOW. No man knows the DAY nor the HOUR. I am going to use every PRECIOUS moment to SERVE in 2010 and well you already know your RESPONSIBILITY!!! So let’s Go!!!

A Decade to Serve A Season to be Heard

So tell me, how many “Top Ten New Years” resolutions have you READ in the last week. Or better yet, how many new resolutions have you made and broken in the last 7 days. So you know as THE Sistah Lady Allen, I got to keep it very sistah-like with you and just come on out and say it; your resolution will probably have a difficult time going beyond the ceiling because they were probably created with self in mine. I am not saying you should never focus on making the YOU better, but have you ever thought that maybe your resolution has no lasting impact because you are too focus on YOU and what YOU need to receive. I know this may come as a surprise and if you can’t say amen as the pastor always says, “Go ahead and say Oh me”. One thing I have learned is that living for self deflates the progress of your own success. Once you believe in serving others the rest will come and will bring about great things more than you could ever imagine and I believe success is awaiting you.

Better yet, I believe this is your time to be heard; a time where you can serve in a capacity that brings fulfillment to not only your life but to the life of others that are looking for someone to step up and be bold. This is not a decade to be quiet, but a time to SERVE and a season to be HEARD. You can do it, you had a responsibility in 2009 and it must continue in 2010. My advice is PRAY, SEEK, BELIEVE, and BE BOLD. You are not alone, I too must practice what I preach and in 2010 my motto is “Is it Serving”. Through everything I do, I become, and I believe if it’s not serving well sweetie pie it’s not worth doing. We have a legacy, a responsibility for greatness and under no circumstances are WE going to give up. During my college graduation a remarkable women told us a story of her life and in her final words she something that would change my life. She told us “for whom you are is God’s gift to you, but what you make of yourself and whom you serve is your GIFT to God”. So go ahead sistah, be free in 2010 and live out what you and I know is your DESTINY!

P.S. Sistah Lady Allen has some big surprises in 2010 so stay on the LOOK OUT!!