It's all About Destiny: It's all About Destiny: A Letter to a Young Sister
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Can We Just Take A Walk Together
My little one Braxton, my dog of course, was the sweetest, most non confrontational rolling partner I knew. I could discuss anything and go everywhere with him. I could tell him about my day, cry overflowing tears in front of him, and even yell to the top of my lungs while he sat in front of me with a puzzled face. As a loyalist, Braxton would snuggle up to me and look at me with those big eyes that would make me laugh until I was sick. Although his actions spoke those of care and love, he could never verbally communicate back to me or make all the pain go away. He was a dog and unable to communicate back to me what I needed! To be honest, I think I would share my deepest secrets with him because of this very fact; he could not talk back and I could control the communication! I believe Braxton and my behavior was one similar to how we as humans us tactics and methods for avoiding human interaction or controlling another persons response to our feelings. We use these tactics or methods to state a claim rather than communicate a feeling with another person.We have become cowardly to what is really needed to communicate love, healing, or joy with our family, love ones, or friends. It is the simplicity that I think is needed and must be done which requires us to throw our electronic friends in the water and ask “Can We Just Take A Walk Together”.
Through my own process of love and forgiveness, I have learned the one single thing that causes us to totally miss out on the opportunities with other is the inability to simply free ourselves of our struggles or thoughts with one another in a space that allows us to completely communicate in REAL TIME. As I watched a family in the park the other day, I experienced their sacred time spent talking in the park about life, family, and love. As I watch them communicate from a far on a nice park bench, I watched them enter into a long discussion that brought excitement, sadness, and love.I was so inspired that I begin to think to myself, “Can we as people begin to love again through a simple boldness to request that we put down the one-way technology enablers for a minute to pick up the voices or our love so that we can express what’s our minds and hearts?”
I believe the real question starts with us, to ask ourselves, “ Do I think I have either the willingness or courage to stop running from a REAL CHANCE to freely open a lane for a honest two-way conversation with someone I love?” Can I be the type of sistah that is BOLD enough to no longer ask for walk in the park to discuss my feelings but REQUIRE it! Yes, sistah I am talking to me and you. Are we available and open ourselves to stop, drop, and LISTEN to a man, friend, or girlfriend voice his or her feelings instead of emailing, texting, skyping, or facebooking our thoughts. I don’t know about you, but I am ready and willing to make the effort to bring back the REALNESS of conversations and the common language of love and friendship that once existed from looking into someone’s eyes to understand their true thoughts. I will no longer allow the pure essence of walking and talking be dominated by a TEXT MESSAGE! So the next time you get a text or other important message via technology simply reply with “Can we just take a Walk” and I promise your opportunity to really connect will never be the same.
Let’s start a new campaign “SISTAHS FOR REAL COMMUNICATION, so please leave your BBM PIN or CELL PHONE at HOME”…….LOL
Friday, July 9, 2010
It's Your Time Sistah Girl: The Legacy Must Live On....
One of the things that I love most about family reunions, other than the good food, food, and more food, is speaking with the elders of the family and having them share their wisdom and love for coming together each year to see their family. As I sing to the tune of “It’s a family reunion”, I am simply overjoyed with having had the opportunity to see all my lovely family and take part in another reunion. I was truly humbled as I greeted the youngest family member of two weeks to the oldest of eighty nine; and get this I have an aunt who wasn’t there but she is one hundred and ten. Our family is truly an amazing example of God’s favor. I was in awe and complete amazement as I watched young women and men honoring marriage and sharing in the raising of children, cousins respecting each other, and young people honoring those who have come before them with kindness and respect. The sight of seeing young people fix a plate of food, speak with respect, and even take a moment to hear the great advice of the many years of life experiences from the elders was indescribable. I was so moved! In fact, I was so inspired that I had to take a moment and share this; for this is a great example of how the black family still lives and thrives in contrast to what we have seen or been told. During our family church service my grandmother REQUESTED, more REQUIRED that I stand and speak on behalf of the family! I immediately shook my head no and she gave me a look that said in so many words, “Please don’t have me ask you again”! Before I knew it, one of my cousins had nudged me in my back and my sister had given me a look that co-signed to my grandmother’s request. As I looked for words to impart to my family and the entire congregation, I was reminded of one of my favorite stories in the bible of a young woman who was chosen to be Queen. Esther, the unlikely candidate, had been given a position because of her favor with God. As her people were experiencing turmoil, she was reminded by her uncle that perhaps she was made Queen for this very moment, this very time, and this very opportunity to save her people. As I stood up, I began to understand that the very moments we stand in are in fact chosen by God to do something amazing; for we have been chosen for that very reason and we must be obedient. We have to understand that our circumstances and life experiences only position us for a time such as these to carry out a pre-arranged assignment. The black family is at a corner of transitioning a new generation into leading the next era of our world and we must know that the time has come and the great legacy must continue. We have a torch to carry and a legacy to uphold; therefore we have an assignment to challenge our youth to take their place and BE BOLD.
As one sistah to another let me be the first to acknowledge the Esther inside of YOU! You have been chosen for a time such as this to lead a nation of sisters, daughters, mothers, aunts, wives, mentors, and so much more. The legacy of our womanhood MUST NOT compete with man, but embrace the beauty that completes one another to fulfill the assignments that God has given each of us. My hope is that you do not confuse this with another “preach to the choir” message, but an encouragement that seeks to remind you to be in constant search of the mighty woman that lives inside of you which has been placed deep within your soul for the very time in which we stand.
As we embrace the call of what the world has proclaimed as “the new 21st century woman”, we must never forget the importance of our role in which God has position us to play in the lives of our family, society, church, and other places that may touch the world. I challenge you to use your strength and position to confront the struggles of our children and their education, the unbalance of our families, and the disparities in our knowledge of personal worth versus societal like. I am not saying you must trade in your Gucci Pumps for Esther or Mary’s clothe, but I do believe we can take a few lessons from some of our brave sisters in the bible and history who have taught us to never give up and always embrace the time when called upon. As Esther sought God when she was faced with a difficult task and a serious assignment, we must also be ready and willing to take heed to the TIME and seek God for direction! You are FLY, but being fly is having the God Confidence rather than that self-confidence to know that you cannot do this thin ALONE!
Little Sistah this is your time, you are the legacy that the world has patiently awaited your arival. You are the vessel that will remind man that in order for him to go to God on your behalf, he must be willing to seek Him with you in unison kneeling down in one accord. As a unit we must realize that we are deserving of each other, therefore we must not be afraid to speak up or lift up once another in order to save a generation of young men and women who have hidden treasures inside of them! We must shift our thinking in order to grab what has been taken and be willing to work on the very things that have clouded our minds that we now and have always had control over. Our grandmothers and mothers have left a legacy within us that that walks by faith and not by sight. You must not be afraid to walk in what you believe in nor speak on what you so passionately care and based your faith on. It is with this that I say, “Sistah Girl, allow God to use you for it is YOUR TIME. Understand that you are an heir to great things, and just like Esther, perhaps your success and struggles were given to you for such a time as this!
So know.…It’s Your Time: And So The Legacy Must Live On….
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Spirit of A Black Man
During a night stroll in Brooklyn on the notorious Fulton Street, a good friend and I begin to discuss the love we both shared for black men. We begin talking about their beauty and our sense of spiritual connection even as strangers when we see them in passing on the block, the subways, or even as we are entering a building and bump shoulders for a quick second. My friend and I were both filled with goose bumps; it was electrifying as we shared why no other man would do. We both recognized that through all the headaches, heavy burdens, and unpredictable moments we may have shared with black men, they were our rock and we are theirs. They inspire us to conquer the inequality of the world and provide us with the reassurance that our beauty is not only valid but necessary in creating the next generation that is strong, intellectual, compassionate, beautiful, and God-serving people. Truth be told, I have pondered and thought about this topic many of nights based on my current readings of The Conversation by Hill Harper. Hill’s exploration of how we begin to communicate between each and explore relationships between black women and men, in addition to my friend’s personal thoughts of what makes a black man so beautiful and lovable, has caused me to explore the SPIRIT OF A BLACK MAN.
So you may ask, what makes us love them more than anyone else. At times when our fathers may disappoint us, boyfriends upset us, that friend who brings us to tears or even that husband who says something that takes our eyes from one side of our head to the next? What keeps us by their side or vice versa when society has made us believe that we are better off without each other or with someone else. I will tell you, it’s the SPIRIT OF A BLACK MAN! We are connected to them at so many levels that their thoughts are able to connect to ours and together we can begin a journey before we ever shake hands or introduce ourselves. It’s as if the spirit of a black man reaches out to the soul of a black woman and safely pulls it closer to his. When we loose them we cry, when they walk away our hearts ache, and when they reach out to us we hold and shelter them from any storm that may come their way. Through his struggle of societal abuse and high demand of accountability, support and lack thereof, he is still our friend, partner, companion, husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, cuzzo, and son who needs to hear that we NEED AND LOVE him. A black man’s spirit is in jeopardy ever time we speak negative to him, stereotype him, tolerate his cowardly behavior, or allow him to be less than his best self. A very beautiful cousin of mine provided me with a parable of a man and woman that I thought was very eye opening and important to understand. It directly connects the responsibility that we have to one another. She said to me, “Tiny Sister, you must understand as a man's eyes are looking forward and his back is to God with the responsible of leading, a woman’s ear is directly connected to God so she can hear Him and be the voice that speaks to the man. God will use that man to lead and move His people forward, but He will also use your ear to speak to him as he moves. You must keep your ear to God, because you will help him lead as he will look to you when he cannot hear God, but you can. So never forget God's positioning of a man and his responsibilty to always keep his eyes forward. He will need your ears and your voice to help him Lead." I believe the spirit of a black man knows this and so he relies on our connection as the brain relies on the heart to live. Together we are the instrument that makes a great noise and the hope that our community relies on to bring restoration. The spirit of a black man, I believe, carriers the anchor of God’s plan to love, protect, lead, and build great nations; his ability to do such relies on how well we as sistahs are spiritually connected to God to receive this and nurture that spirit to bring about great promises in our world.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)
So let me say something directly to the Black Man, ‘You are so beautiful and wonderfully made. Your love, strength, sense to lead and protection makes me desire no one but you. Your dedication and service to God, family and your community makes me want to stand beside and support you regardless of what I have accomplished or attained through my own success. As you love what I bring to the table and applaud my achievement, you too are not intimated about who I am and whose I am. I am so proud of your accomplishments and thank God for your love, smile, easiness, and most of all your spirit to be just who you are. I will do the very best that I can to assist you in hearing God’s plan, but you must be willing to walk forward side-by-side, hand-in-hand so that we together can save our community and serve humanity. So trust me when I say, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE BETTER SUITED FOR ME THAN YOU!
Blessings and Love Always,
Lady Sistah Allen
Friday, May 7, 2010
Her Heart: If You Ever Want to Know A Woman's True Thoughts?
As Anthony Hamilton once said “I Just Can’t Lose Her”. "What price are you willing to pay not to lose her?" or “What are you willing to do to find her?” Or even better, “Who will you seek to have her?” If you believe she is as special as you say she is than go after her and don’t stop until God gives you permission to either move on or unite the whole you with the whole her. In the meantime, show her that the words RESPECT, LAUGHTER, LOVE, and most of ALL FRIENDSHIP are not dead. If your heart won’t let you lose her, than ready yourself for the risk. Sometimes we must take a risk before we are ready or prepared for the job. If you love her and believe that she earnestly loves you than pray and seek God for her hand, because although she is not waiting for you she is awaiting you. Her anxiety is just as high as yours, but the difference is she believes that you will come for her, because God said so, and with that SHE WAITS, IN FACT she IS STILL. The bible says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”—Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 34: 10 also says “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” You will never find a person better made for you as she, for her heart is rare, more precious than anything you will ever hold. So if you agree and too believe she is truly precious, than why do you continue to question God of her place in your life?
Will you ever understand that the essence of her love is shown through her obedience to God and not you? Have you ever wonder why you cannot say goodbye? Or why both of you have so happen to find yourselves in the same space, same generation, sharing the same fight or even uniting the same people for the same mission! I don’t want to scare you, but the real news is this: You don’t stay or continue to love her because you made the decision! No my brother, you aren’t that perfect, but rather God decided that her heart fits perfectly inside of yours, and so she will always understand you more than anyone else; which is the beauty of her heart that was created especially for you and the humanity that makes the ever being of you; That type of perfection is something that the world can never find and contains only a DNA perfectly made for both you and her.
I plead with you to not take her for granted, because if you do, and when the smoke clears and the dust settles, she might slip away because of your disobedience to God. He may decide to remove her because He felt that her heart was too precious to be abandoned by you and give her to someone else. Don’t allow your fatigue or pain to do something you will regret; Like Not Having Her There! My grandmother once told me to never deny yourself of the white picket fence if that’s what you desire and believe that God has for you. So I tell you, don’t feel less than TO BUILD THAT WHITE PICKET FENCE FOR HER, for what her heart can give is the very garden of love that she seeks and nothing else. Let me be clear, the white picket fence is not her external desire, but rather her internal need of love, happiness, safety, and true partnership. Can you remember a time were her smile felt completing without her ever speaking a word? It’s because the plan that has been crafted for her life has been prepared by God, which has nothing to do with her, and so she cannot control the impact that she has on you. You will realize one day that her friendship was just the gift that opened up God's favor to receive her love, for it is HER HEART's LOVE that will allow you to love her more than you love yourself! Don’t ever FORGET HER HEART, its precious, and if you really desire it, than DO THE RIGHT THING, for it will do the right thing for you!
Friday, April 23, 2010
How Will You Remember Her Fight: Don’t Just Carry the Torch
Just a couple of days ago, we learned of the passing of one the most iconic, greatest leaders of our time: the late Dorothy Height. She was truly was the epitome of what GREATNESS looks , walks, and talk like in ever essence of her being. She believed that a person’s true value was through their service and to be called a leader you must be willing to serve others as one. My kind of Lady! As we celebrate her life, and we hear all the talk about who will carry the torch, I believe that true question is who will be willing to model her SERVICE ATTITUDE and not only carry the torch, but re-light the passion in a movement to be more than LEADERS but true actors of service. Well Ms. Height, I don’t know if I could ever carry the exact torch that you did, but what I can promise is that I will use my life to SERVE and become a vessel that exemplifies the qualities and examples that you created. I want to continue in the fight that you pursued for women of all kind, justice for all races, and service that purifies the crisis within our communities, nations, and the world. Just carrying the torch is not enough, I know Ms. Height, you need us to step up and be bold enough to ignite our own torch of freedom and justice to enlighten the world that that our young women are gifted, beautiful, equally made, wonderfully created, divinely destined, and capable of creating a difference in the world that uniquely makes us true healers and innovators of our time. You see through the example of Ms. Height's life I have learned this,
“Our lives are shaped to serve and live for God and His Purpose, so there is no pressure to worry about what people expect or require from us. If we can remember anything, as the ever so lovely Ms. Height understood, it is this: finding greatness will find you, as long as you stay true to yourself and you do not become too busy applauding your own cause, but rather looking to constantly create one!
Your Life is A True Dedication of Service and A Model of True Greatness! Thank you for the Template Ms.Height, We Love and Celebrate Your Life!!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
No I am not CRAZY; Just PROMISED
In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be put to confusion. Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape; incline thine ear unto me, and save me. Be thou my strong habitation, where unto I may continually resort. Thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. For thou art my hope, O LORD GOD; thou art my trust from my youth. By thee have I been held up from the womb; thou art he who took me out of my mother; my praise shall be continually of thee. -Psalms 71; 1-6
When I get ready to share an experience with you on my blog, I turn to God, and ask him, “Lord use my life as a vessel, let me not be concerned about what others may think, but who you will touch, set free, and regain through the losses that they felt hinder them to walk into the destiny that you have already planned .” It ain’t easy in these streets, but you gotta know who YOUR ROCK is and sometimes what the WORLD may deem crazy may be the very moment that God must use to fulfill a PROMISE in your life or another sister who’s given up on the legacy of Success. When you realize that there is a PROMISE over your life, you will begin to understand that God does not need your artificial words or made-up story, but an open you that is not afraid to TURN, RUN AND FALL into the His lap Truth! He already knows you are not CRAZY, JUST PROMISED, so there is no need to pacify an unrealistic you or respond to the human critique! Experiencing a crazy moment allows you to create a heavy duty first aid kit for the world, so that you can handle the deep and REAL moments that lie out there! So go ahead Sistah Girl, let’em know,
“No I am Not Crazy, Just PROMISED”!
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